12.6.08

Got Milk?

Here's a very simple and amusing explanation of the various societal orientations. All done with cows.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

It gets even weirder:

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Here's my take:

ARROYO DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government decides that they own both cows. They take from you. You resist. The headline tomorrow would read: Cow Owner Found Dead. Two Men On Bikes Seen.

BUSH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows who despite their sad appearances give plenty of milk. One motherfucker saw the cow's sorry state and decides to liberate it. (But not after cajoling another cow owner to attack the motherfucker)


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